


Because I Love You.

by orbisomnia



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 18:30:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orbisomnia/pseuds/orbisomnia
Summary: Lipsoul Oneshot (?)





	Because I Love You.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't really much of a one-shot, as it really doesn't have a clear start. More or less just something I wrote up in the middle of the night. I originally wasn't even going to post it, but I haven't posted much on here and I spent a few hours writing what I did, so I thought I might as well. So here, have an angsty fighty Lipsoul. Apologies in advance if it upsets anyone.

Jinsoul held younger girl’s hands in her own, worry creeping into her voice as she said,”Tell me the truth...please Jungeun.”

 

Jungeun looked at the ground, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “I-I...I can’t.” Her thoughts were racing fear creeping into her mind of what’s to come. She knew Jinsoul wasn’t about to let this go, but she wasn’t expecting what her response would be.

 

The taller blond sighed, “Jungeun-ah, this is ridiculous..just tell me the truth? You owe me at least that much? After all this time?”

 

Jungeun’s head shot up to look at the older girl, tears still forming in her eyes. “I _owe_ you?!?” something in her got set off and the fear in her heart turned to frustration and anger. She snatched her hands from Jinsoul’s and watched for a second as the blonde backed up in shock from the fierceness in the younger’s voice.

 

“I owe you NOTHING! Do you even _realize_ what you did to me? The pain you put me through? Do you even fucking care?”

 

“I...I don’t understand what you’re talking about…” Jinsoul stammered not sure what to do.

 

“Of course you don’t! I knew you wouldn’t even notice! You were too busy pining for someone...someone _who never even loved you in the first place_.” Jungeun spat out, the frustration clouding her brain, letting everything she had kept up for years spill out. And she wasn’t going to stop it. Even though she could tell by the taller girl stepping back with tears starting to form in her eyes as well, that her words stung. And part of her didn’t even care anymore.

 

“She didn’t care about you Soul, and you fucking knew that. But you never cared. You were blinded. Everything was about her. You pushed everyone away all because you wanted to make her love you. You became a whole different person because of her.” Her voice grew louder and her hands shook as she kept going, Jinsoul stood there stunned in silence.

 

“We were BEST FRIENDS, but once she came into the picture suddenly that never mattered anymore. You pushed me away. ME. YOU PUSHED ME AWAY. Me, Kim Jungeun, the friend you’ve known since we were both kids. Your best friend Jinsoul! Does that even mean _anything_ to you anymore?? All I ever wanted to do was to make you smile and make you feel okay. I wanted you to be happy! And I-” Her voice started to waver as her brain and heart swirled with emotions. Knowing what she was about to say was going to change everything.

 

“I...I STILL FUCKING LOVED YOU OKAY??” The other girl’s eyes grew wide at the realization, but she wasn’t done yet.

 

“I LOVED YOU FOR YEARS. And you _knew_  I did. That day we talked about it and I told you was one of the worst days of my life. Yet I brushed it off as nothing just like I always did. And you never questioned it. You just went straight back to her.” her voice was breaking, the pent-up frustration and tears spilling out.

 

“Soul, I had to sit and watch you day by day yearn for the same things I did. I felt pity for you because you loved her SO much, yet she refused to give you the light of day. I had to watch while she was the one that made you smile, and all the while she was the same one that tore you down and made you feel like you weren’t enough for her. It hurt because of how I saw how much she hurt you, all the while you never even thought about how much it was hurting me.” she took a deep breath and continued.

 

“If you want the truth? Here it is. I lied that day, I still loved you and I haven’t stopped. God, I tried so hard. I tried everything I could but nothing fucking worked. I just wanted you to be happy and that’s all I ever tried to do. When you pushed me away I _swore_ I still would be there when you returned. I never left your side Soul. I was there when you fought and I was there as I watched you run back to her time and time again no matter how bad she hurt you. Do you even _understand_ how much that hurt me? To watch you do that to yourself?” She stopped to catch her breath and looked at the older blonde. She was standing there her arms by her sides, her face in a mixture of shock and sadness, tears sliding down the side of her face.

 

Silent.

 

Speechless.

 

Knowing she wasn’t going to get a response only fueled her frustration and hurt. “Do you...do you even understand how hard it is and how much it fucking hurts to have to sit and watch someone you're in love with tear themselves apart for someone that would never return their feelings? To watch someone you love push you away in order to make someone who doesn't even care about them happy?? It hurt Soul, it hurt more than I ever thought I was capable of feeling. And you never even noticed did you? I loved you. And I never fucking stopped. But I...I was scared.”

 

Jungeun turned her back to Jinsoul and walked towards the door. She placed a hand on the doorknob about to turn it but hesitated.

 

Jinsoul tried to walk towards her to stop her from leaving, but one step in and the younger girl stopped her in her tracks. “Don’t you dare. Just...don’t.” Her eyes grew cold as she looked at her old friend, both of them now with tears in their eyes.

 

“You know what I was scared of? _I was scared of losing you._ After all you did. I was absolutely _terrified_ of losing you.” she opened the door and looked back at Jinsoul one last time.

 

“I was terrified of losing you Soul, you were my best friend for fuck's sake. And god knows I still am terrified. But I know as well as you do, that I’ve already lost you, haven’t I?” she watched as the older girl stood there in silence, not sure what to say as if it even really mattered at this point.

 

Her breath hitched. Looking at Soul’s eyes, she knew what the answer was. The sadness and regret in the older girl’s eyes proved that. She didn’t say another word.

 

Turning around, she walked out of the apartment and into the hallway, slamming the door behind her.

 

Jinsoul watched her leave, knowing she couldn’t stop her. She jumped when the door to her apartment slammed shut. Cutting her off from Jungeun; her best friend, forever. She knew she wasn’t coming back. And honestly, Soul didn’t blame her. She sunk to the ground, and let out the sob she was desperately holding in. She had made a mistake. And that mistake had just caused her to lose one of her closest friends. And there was nothing she could do about it.

 

Jungeun stood in the hallway for a moment. She frustratingly tried to wipe the tears from her eyes with her hoodie sleeve. This wasn’t how she had thought this would go, but honestly, she wasn’t sure if it could’ve ever had a good outcome. Despite the ache in her heart as she heard the sudden sobs coming from the other side of the door, she didn’t turn and try to go back inside and comfort Jinsoul, as she had done many times in the past. As much as she wanted to; and oh god she wished she could, she didn’t turn back around. Instead, she turned and walked down the hallway, never once looking back.

 

That evening she left Jinsoul alone in that apartment for what would be the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo yeah that's the end of that. Honestly, this was probably just practice for another fic/au I'm working on so there wasn't much really to it. I also just have a thing for liking to write sad/angsty stuff. :P 
> 
> Anyways follow me on twitter as I'm finishing up a much nicer/fluffer Hyewon AU there! --> @loonasomnia_ 
> 
> Also, side note the only reason the title is what it is was because I was listening to a song called 'Because I Love You' and it's pretty fuckin' sad so, yea. Thought it would fit as a title.


End file.
